Sunday, June 12, 2011

Three yahrzeits and an anniversary

Had it not been for the intervention of first Shavuot, then Shabbat, I would just have gotten up from sitting shiva for my father yesterday morning--and today is our 34th wedding anniversary. Under the circumstances, our celebration is going to be pretty subdued (just dinner in a casual kosher dairy restaurant). And every year from now on, we'll be celebrating our anniversary within weeks of my husband's mother's yahrzeit and smack dab between my mother's yahrzeit (20 Sivan) and my father's yahrzeit (3 Sivan).

Blue June, indeed.


Blogger Larry Lennhoff said...

Just a quick note - apparently it is traditional to celebrate the first yarhtzeit on the day of the burial, rather than the day of the death. You should check this with your halachic authority when it becomes close to relevant.

Mon Jun 13, 09:06:00 AM 2011  
Blogger Shira Salamone said...

Thanks for the information, Larry. I'll check with the rabbi of my "kaddish synagogue."

Mon Jun 13, 10:35:00 AM 2011  
Blogger Larry Lennhoff said...

More information is available in The Jewish Way in Death and Mourning (which ISTR you have) on page 156 in the year 2000 edition in the chapter on "Yearlong mourning observances."

Mon Jun 13, 11:06:00 AM 2011  
Blogger Shira Salamone said...

Thanks for the tip. I checked p. 156, and it appears that R. Lamm allowed for variations of practice:

" . . . a significant number of authorities say the first yahrzeit should be observed on the date of burial, especially if burial occurred several days after death. To avoid confusion between the first yahrzeit and and all subsequent years, when the yahrzeit is marked on the date of death, I suggest that the first yahrzeit also be observed on the date of death rather than the date of burial."

Hmm, looks like I'm back to square one. Since my father was buried the morning after his death, the "delayed burial" clause doesn't apply to me, so I'll probably end up following my "kaddish shul's" rabbi's opinion, out of respect.

Mon Jun 13, 11:30:00 AM 2011  

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